Deck the Halls

Fifteen invaluable tips for trimming a gorgeous Christmas tree & decking your halls this holiday season

1. There is nothing like Christmas music to get you in the spirit. Before you even think about trimming that tree, you better get some tunes going. My favorites this holiday season include Michael Buble, Glee, Destiny’s Child, N’Sync, and of course, Mariah

2. Light a candle. This is especially good if you’re using fake tree so you can get that balsam fir smell all up in your nostrils.

3. Open your closet where all of your Christmas decorations are kept and quickly move out of the way while all of the crap you have piled in there plummets to the ground. Hmm, shoot. You should clean out the closet – but there isn’t time! There’s only 3 weeks until  Christmas so you need to decorate right MEOW. Make a mental note to clean out the closet when you “get a chance.”

4. Empty every bag, box, and bin to make sure you retrieved all the Christmas paraphernalia. Put these goodies off to the side. Shove every other holiday trinket, pumpkin, turkey, heart, and shamrock back in the closet while simultaneously closing the door so they don’t fall out.

5. Find separate places to put the 50 decorations that say Joy on them from you mom so they’re not all in the same spot. Actually, this one might only apply to me. Unless your middle name is also Joy, or Faith, or Peace? (LOVE YOU MOM & LOVE MY NAME & ALL MY JOY TRINKETS)
joy

6. Real tree? Awesome, but I have zero advise for you. Please skip to number 10.

7. Fake tree? You’re in the right place. Drag the tree pieces across the room until they are near the spot you’ll be putting your tree. This is important. You want to drag, otherwise the fake pine needles won’t be all over your floor.

8. Make sure you have LONG sleeves on. I did not follow this step and it looked like I rubbed a cactus all over my arms. So, long sleeves, people. I know you’re probably sweating from the dragging of the tree, so open a window if needed.

9. Set up the stand. I have no idea if these all work the same, so use your common sense. Derp. Then, sit on the ground for 10-15 minutes staring at the pieces trying to figure out which one goes first. Once you figure it out, shove that bad boy into the stand. Try to straighten out the branches and make them look pretty (please see #8). Get impatient after 2 minutes of this and turn the tree so the unfinished side faces the wall. Repeat as needed.

10. YAY, your tree is up! If your tree is not pre-lit, I cannot help you. If it is, bigger YAY! Time for ornaments. Go through all your ornaments and put all the boring plain ones (ie: bawls) off to the side. Get the fun ones and make sure those are front and center and in visible areas. Fill in empty areas with the balls you put aside.

11. Oh. Em. Gee. You’re almost there! Get your tree topper of choice (bow, angel, star, baby Jesus, etc. Use your imagination). Grab a chair or ladder because you’re short and place it at the top.

12. Step down, plug in the tree, and squeal. The tree is trimmed! The Tree is trimmed! Quick – get your phone and take a picture for instagram. It’s beautiful

13. Realize you need more decorations. Go to Hobby Lobby. Wander around the store for 2 hours. Finally leave and realize you have items for only one decoration. What the– what have you been doing for 2 hours?

14. When you get home, put together your new decoration(s).  Realize you should probably working for Martha Stewart with this high end creativity.

photo (9)

15. Make cookies to reward yourself for your hard work. Eat cookies while you lay down on the couch and watch your Christmas movie of choice, enjoying the smell and sights of Christmas.

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3 thoughts on “Deck the Halls

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