We were welcomed to the second episode of The Bachelor with
open arms bulging biceps and abs, once again. They truly went and outdid themselves by concluding Sean’s workout with a steamy shower. I don’t really blame the 50 Shades girl. She obviously thought that’s what they were looking for.
The first one-on-one date went to Sarah. Muscles greeted her at the mansion and they took off via helicopter because ground transportation is for peasants. My favorite part of the helicopter scene was when the camera kept focusing in on Sean’s strategically placed hand on Sarah’s hip. They’re practically writing this blog for me. The two are brought to – you guessed it – the top of a sky scraper where *gasp* they’ll be free falling. Nothing like recycling ideas, eh Bachelor peeps? I guess to them it just never gets old to hear people say they are “literally falling in love.” Once safely on the ground, they continue on with drinks and chit chat where Sarah admits in her confessional that she is falling in love with Sean. That was a normal comment for a first date; not at all crazy.
I realize that Sarah continues to bring up the fact that she has one arm to try and avoid any awkwardness that Sean might feel, but it’s giving the opposite effect. She repeatedly says that she doesn’t want to be treated differently and wants to be judged based on who she is inside. That’s great, but the fact that you mention it every five seconds actually screams that you do want to be treated differently.
The group date involved a lot of girls who’s names I’m struggling to remember. The “date” was a photo shoot for Harlequin romance novels.
Lesley M. is the first to kiss Sean during her shoot and bug eyes were abound. Kristy, the model, was squealing like the stereotype she is when they were told what their date would be since she’d be in her element. She’s in the above photo and won the contest which wasn’t exactly a surprise to anyone. BO-RING. The date continued over drinks where Daniella was sloshed and slurring words in her confessional. I like that. Catherine told Sean “I’m a vegan, but I love the beef” and I wondered how Sean and the crew continued shooting like her comment wasn’t completely outrageous and uncomfortable. Katie chose to go home because the whole idea of competing for a man wasn’t her scene. Good for her. The most awkward part about that was when Sean didn’t fight her to stay. It was like, oh, you want to leave? I didn’t even know you were here. What’s your name again? Bye.
Desiree gets the second one-on-one date. Sean takes her to an art gallery where they stage a scene to trick Desiree (“Des”) into thinking she broke a $1.5 million piece of art. I don’t know what they were expecting her to do. Cry? Get pissed? I think she reacted how any normal person would by telling the truth, saying she wasn’t anywhere near it and it just fell. Chris Harrison enjoyed himself a little to much watching this go down.
She laughed when Sean told her but I still think she knew it was a stupid idea. We’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel on this one, producers. The two enjoyed dinner, wine, hot tub canoodling, and pool make-outs back at Sean’s place. I really like Desiree and think they seem the most normal together.
The end was so random when Amanda was being such a sour puss. Who knew she was so annoying?
It was actually a little creepy because the other girls would ask her questions and she would just sit there staring off into space like a cray. Then Sean walks into the room and she’s all smiles. Yikes.
I’m not even embarrassed to admit how obsessed I am with this season already. I really like Desiree, Lesley M., and Lindsay (I had faith bridezilla would be normal!!) Tierra and Amanda are obviously the most irritating but will cause the most drama.
Just so we’re all on the same page, I’ll leave you with this photo, further solidifying that this show is borderline softcore porn