American Idol is My Drug

Maybe after a second decade of watching American Idol religiously, I will finally be able to quit my drug, but until then, you’ll find me perched in front of my TV watching intently. To be honest, I hate the beginning auditions with all of the talentless people – just get me to Hollywood week so I can critique them like the unqualified viewer I am! Therefore, I’m not going to go on and on about who I did and did not like.

I will, however, focus on “the definition of diva,” as Ryan Seacrest put it, Mariah Carey. Did anyone catch when they introduced her by mentioning her “5 octave vocal range?” I’m fairly certain she required this to be said when she signed her contract, but it doesn’t even matter. She’s Mariah. She can do whatever she wants.

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Let me just say what everyone is thinking myself and MC fans are thinking: Mariah Carey is the best thing to happen to this show since a choir accompanied Clay Aiken on stage during his rendition of “Bridge Over Troubled Water.”

Sorry for getting side-tracked. I just believe it is imperative that all of you witness the glory of Clay’s head bobbing and his sultry squints.

I had low expectations for Keith Urban and they were met. He brought little to the table and it seemed like he felt very out of place. I’m hoping he gets more comfortable as the season goes on because I have a feeling they’re going to need his calm normalcy to survive.

The only thing that’s changed about Randy Jackson in 11ish years is his weight. I’m not sure why he’s still on this show. Doesn’t he have #1 hits to produce? Regardless, it’s nice to have a familiar face still with us. He’s the man who light-heartedly switched places with Kelly Clarkson at her first audition, and would would probably do the same for another contestant in a heartbeat.

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I only half-watched this episode and I already can’t stand Nicki Minaj. This is upsetting because I love Nicki’s songs. Why does she talk to people like she’s better than them? SPOILER ALERT: She’s not.

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I am also convinced that the talk about Mariah and Nicki feuding is all staged. Aside from light bickering and Mean Girls references, they seemed okay. There was a lot of side eye given from Nicki’s end which is just straight up disrespect, but it all probably stems from jealousy of Mariah’s superior 5 octave vocal range. See what I did there? I guess we’ll just have to see what happens in the next few weeks.

I have to mention when someone asked Ryan if he was tired and he responded “I’ve been tired for 10 years.” I appreciate the honesty because I was starting to think he was a robot, but can someone get this man a vacation? If he quits American Idol because of fatigue, the only one who could rightly take his place is Brian Dunkleman, and no one knows where to even begin looking for him.

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5 thoughts on “American Idol is My Drug

  1. Oh my gosh, you’re killing me! American Idol and The Bachelor are two of my favorite shows, but I have had NO TIME to watch them! Ugggh! I really love Sean and want to watch his season, dang it. What is up with the pic of him in the shower!?? That is hilarious!

    1. Oh man! Hopefully you can watch later in the season when there’s only a few girls left. Based on the previews, it’s gonna be pretty crazy. And yes, the shower was part of the montage in the beginning – too much! Haha

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