The Bachelor, Week 3: Muscles, We Meet Again

Let’s just skip over the work-out montage and dive right in, shall we?

The first one-on-one date went to Lesley M. She and Sean took a trip to the Guinness World Records Museum. At first, she was upset and wanted to do something “more exciting.” Les, the trips to hidden islands and beaches don’t come until the very end. This is your first date. Be patient. Anyway, she ends up not giving a hoot that this was their date since it ended with the two of them setting the new world record for “longest on screen kiss.” This was just so uncomfortable because there was a crowd of people watching them and Chris Harrison was enjoying the show a little too much. The old record was 3 minutes, 15 seconds and they broke it. Now they need to end up together just because that would be a super awkward record to explain to future spouses. LESLEY M., SEAN LOWE

The rest of their date was normal by Bachelor standards. Therefore, they sat on a large couch, with their legs intertwined and drinks in hand. I did enjoy their conversation. Lesley seems very down to earth and I think/hope she’ll be one of the last standing.

Next up was the group date. It was a good thing this one was at the beach since we hadn’t been exposed to Sean’s washboard in a solid fifteen minutes by that point.

The girls competed in a game of beach volleyball to “win” the rest of the date with Sean. The winners got to continue their day with him, while the losers had to go back to the mansion. Womp womp. Some of the girls were crying after they lost the game. This was incredibly strange. I’m not even sure how to comment on it. I can understand being upset, bummed, or disappointed, but there were straight up tears being wiped, and I don’t even think they were drinking. When the losers explained the situation to the girls at the house, they acted like they were delivering news of a deadly disease. Everyone was like “oh, what happened?” and they got all quiet and sighed in unison, “beach volleyball.”

On the group date, Desiree and Amanda had some hostility towards each other. Neither of them brought it to Sean’s attention which was a smart choice on their part, and unlike anything we normally see on this show. Kacie, on the other hand, decided to tell him, thinking that it would make him see her in a better light. This made absolutely zero sense. She wasn’t involved at all and Sean was so confused as to why she brought this up and what she was even trying to explain – as were the rest of us. He actually responded with “I want you to be Kacie, instead of this crazy girl I’m seeing.” If that’s not a rose-less ticket home, I don’t know what is. Since they’re friends and he respects her, Sean actually walked Kacie out prior to the rose ceremony, rather than making her sit through it when he knew she would be going home. He’s such a class act, and I was happy to see her go. She’s been super whiney and annoying. I forgot she had the same problem with Ben.

I’m not crazy. I just like to lay outside Ben’s door after trying to prove I wasn’t crazy for chasing after him.

I’m pretty much over Tierra, as are the rest of the girls and probably viewers. When she read the date card and said it was AshLee and Selma going on the date, it was just mean. Everyone knows a double date means that one of them is forced to go home. That’s not funny, it’s just cruel. To top it off, she then pulled out the whole ‘falling down the stairs’ stunt. If she were actually hurt, I would feel bad, but she was quite obviously not. She knew that Sean would walk in and be like let me console you with my arms. Touch my abs, it’ll help. He was trying to get her to talk and she wouldn’t respond, making it seem like she had a concussion. Then, when they decided to take her to the hospital, she popped up from the stretcher and claimed she was fine. That’s just irritating behavior, plus she took time away from AshLee’s date with Sean. Rude.

When Tierra finally backed off, AshLee and Sean went on a date to Six Flags. They shut down the park just for them. Must be nice. They were actually joined by two girls from The Starlight Children’s Foundation. I didn’t understand how the girls knew each other but had never met, so I’m guessing I missed something important when they were explaining the foundation. Essentially, it seemed that they both had chronic illnesses and somehow met and spoke online through this program but never met in person. Sean and the folks at The Bachelor invited them to join Sean and Ashlee on their date, helping the girls to finally meet and enjoy the day together. This was so awesome and considerate. AshLee and Sean were both welcoming and nice to the girls. The evening concluded with the two lovebirds being serenaded by Eli Young Band. I’m obviously not a country fan so I have no idea who they are, but Al reacted by shouting “are you effing* kidding me!?!” so I imagine they’re a pretty huge deal in the world of country. Don’t know. Don’t care.

If you can’t tell, I really like this season. Sean is obviously the most normal bachelor they have have had thus far and a lot of the girls seem down to earth. I think we’re far enough in where I’m ready to make my predictions. I’ll leave it at the top four being Lesley M., Desiree, Lindsay, and unfortunately, Tierra. I realize many people probably already know who he picks at the end, but I’m not about spoilers, bro.

Only time will tell. Dun dun dun.

*Insert actual word. We censor here, people.

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