By now, there must be a montage of Chris Harrison calling every season of The Bachelor the most dramatic. If you know of one, please let me know. I find it hard to believe that 11 years later, people are watching in “record numbers,” but this is what CH tried to convince us of last night on The Bachelor: Women Tell All or WTA for those of your in the twitter-verse.
First, what was with Chris and Sean going to the viewing parties? Some of these girls looked 14 years old. There’s no way this was legal. You could tell Chris was struggling to keep it in his pants. How old is he? Don’t answer that, I just looked it up – 42. GTFO of the sorority house you perv! Obviously the sorority bimbos chanted for Sean to take off his shirt and he
Before we get into the whole insane asylum of girls, can anyone tell me who Brooke is? She made some valid points, but where did she come from?
Lesley again made me want to be her friend after cleverly explaining “Tierra’s sparkle didn’t sparkle that big” and “Tierra made her own bed – her own ‘cot.'” So great. Nothing juicy even happened when they attacked Tierra. Everything was predictable. The eyebrow even said “I light up a room…when I walk into a room, I bring this joy.” Who talks like that, and why are they allowed unsupervised in society? If you have to say that about yourself, it’s not true. Why was she such a sketch about revealing when she got engaged, and after little to no prompting, finally just said “January.” She just loves the drama. At least she was a good sport about her eyebrow’s Twitter handle.
Am I really the only viewer who wholeheartedly disagrees with Sarah being portrayed as such a fan favorite? She was so annoying, and true to form, she said she thinks the only reason Sean sent her home was because she has one arm. I wanted to throw something at her! That has nothing to do with it. What if you did have two arms? Would you blame it on the fact that you had fake blonde hair? Or that your voice is whine-y? I feel bad that she was so hurt, but stop blaming it on random shit. He just didn’t like you. She even said she thinks of herself as funny, and kind, and awesome, and loves herself. GIRL. POWER. Seriously, she needs to take that and run with it, and she’ll meet someone WAY funnier than Sean. That is, if she IS as funny as she claims to be.
Ashlee said she’s not still in love with Sean, but I’m not buying Bitter Brandy’s story. She spent the entire time hating on him, saying he acted like a frat boy with the other girls (yeah, those picnics were wild). Did anyone else notice the half-assed clap she gave Sean when he walked out? I cringed when she told Sean he should have checked on her after he sent her home because he’s “a man.” It’s 2013, you jack wagon, but if you want to digress to 1950, feel free. She added that Sean told her something in regards to not having feelings for the other two women (PLAY ON, PLAYA). I 100% believe this just for the mere fact that I don’t think this broad knows how to lie. That being said, why was it necessary to bring it up? She just wanted to make him look like an asshole, further proving the fact that she is not over him yet, or (more likely) things got Olivia Newton-John “Physical” on their overnight. The only thing I agreed with was that Sean should have walked her out before, rather than making her go through the whole rose ceremony. That was just mean.
Des is so classy. She handled her interaction with Sean far better than Ashlee did. She definitely is over Sean, and/or knows she’s going to be the Bachelorette next season. Although it was just plain silly when she told Sean her brother liked him. Girlfrand, we all just watched the clip again for a refresher. You’re not fooling anyone.