We had the pleasure of watching the last episode of The Bachelor with a live audience, hosted by Chris Harrison fresh off a spray tan. Chris kept popping in on commercial breaks to talk about the crazy information Sean was going to share, but more on that exaggeration in a minute.
Without question, my favorite part of this episode was when Sean’s nephew said “Emily didn’t pick youuu” to Uncle Seanie. So perfect. In all seriousness, Catherine and Lindsay both had great meetings with Sean’s family and their dates went well. Sean kept admitting that he thought they were both “wunnerful women” and needed “clarity.” I was genuinely unsure of who he would choose, so let’s just dive right in to glory that is The Bachelor.
The first tear-jerker of the night came when Sean’s Dad told Catherine that if they got married, he would love her as his own daughter and be her biggest supporter. I can’t get a little teary-eyed at this? Girl’s got Daddy issues. So sue me.
Lindsay and Sean then told his parents that the coolest thing they did during their time together was feed monkeys on the beach. What?
In even stranger fashion, Sean’s Dad told Lindsay that they’ve been praying for Sean’s wife since they day he was born. Because that’s not creepy.
Sean and his mom had a really emotional talk about how marriage is a serious commitment and she urged him not to propose if he was unsure at all. This really sentimental moment was made even better when we saw a cameraman lurking in the bushes behind them.
Lindsay repeatedly told Sean how in love she was and admitted she didn’t know what she’d do without him. Then they let lanterns out into the sky for good luck in love, happiness, and family – a tradition in Thailand. As we’ll see, I’m not sure this worked for Lindsay, so if you’re banking on getting your luck from lanterns, try a four-leaf clover. Or maybe a rabbit’s foot. I dunno.
Catherine and Sean had their date next, and their chemistry was again obvious. They are certainly as “goofy” as they admit, but it works so that’s cool. They rode an elephant, and judging by Catherine’s shrieks, this was her biggest dream come true. Sean assured Catherine that she was constantly on his mind, which is basically saying that he wants to be with her, but then they had a super awkward goodbye. Catherine said “I love you” and he responded with “thank you for today.” I realize he was not able to say these words until the very end, but you would’ve been better off with silence, dude. Maybe a reassuring kiss? I don’t blame her for getting emotional and chasing after him when he left. Then when he tried to console her, he came up with “We had fun today, right?”
If I were Catherine, I would have definitely thought I was being dumped in 12 hours.
Sean was left wondering how he was going to choose between “these two wunnerful women who possess all the qualities he wants in a wife.” By some miracle, God came to him in a dream, or something, and the next day he woke up with clarity about the one “wunnerful woman” he wanted to spend his life with. So he got ready for the day by oiling his body, and heading towards the window to look out yonder and reflect on his journey.
By this point, I didn’t really have a preference over who he chose – I suppose Catherine since they seemed to work better together – but it was so depressing watching them get all dressed up and knowing one of them would be heartbroken.
Lindsay was wearing a silver dress, and Catherine in gold. What cruel irony, producers. Lindsay’s drive to Sean was so stressful, probably because they were playing what can only be classified as music reserved for funerals. Sean started crying and broke the news that she wasn’t the one for him, but he also told her he loved her, which was strange to say the least. I have to give Lindsay credit because she was so mature about it and handled it incredibly well. She told him she was happy for him, but needed to figure out her life without him. Then she took off her heels, and bounced. I respect that.
The note Sean received “freaked America out” according to CH. Well, yes, thanks to you a-holes making it seem negative in the previews. As we saw, this was Catherine’s last “note” to Sean. Even I have to admit this was so precious. The proposal was great. She was so genuinely happy, even if she did almost pass out. They rode off into the sunset via elephant, what else?
I also enjoyed that we found out during their interview that she didn’t even look at the ring for 5 minutes. Love that. So genuine and down to earth.
The After the Final Rose interviews were nothing to write home about. I felt bad for Lindsay because she’s clearly still heartbroken but there are only so many different ways you can ask “what was missing?” and continue to get the same response of “I love someone else.” Just stop, Linds. You’re better off.
Turns out the “crazy” surprise is that Sean and Catherine are going to televise their wedding. Ugh, just when I was starting to like them for being “real.” On a related note, Chris Harrison is ordained.
Also, Des will be the new bachelorette! I figured it would either be her or Ashlee so really all I have to say is, thank gawd.
I cannot believe this is my final post on The Bachelor. We’ll resume in a few months when we see Des standing on a beach with her hair blowing in the breeze and 25 men competing for her attention like a bunch of wild animals.