A Simple Guide to Start Running Again

1. After literally weeks of being a lazy ass, decide you need to start running again, if not for vanity, but at least so your pants don’t hurt when buttoned.

2.Complain about how you don’t feel like running. This can be to a friend or yourself if no one is around. Improvise.

3. Walk by cookies and tell yourself you can eat those if you just go for a run.glee-eating

4. See that it is sunny outside and get a twinge of motivation. Put on a sports bra.

5. Pee.

6. Tell yourself you’re too tired and you’ll run tomorrow instead.

7. Realize tomorrow is your Friday and you plan to drink, not run.

8. Try to improvise with an easier exercise.

9. Accept that it’s not working and make a playlist for motivation, featuring Beyonce.

10. Put on 15 different shirts and pants trying to figure out what is best for this not hot, but not cold temperature.

11. Realize how comfortable workout clothes are and decide to nap instead.

12. Lay down and catch a glimpse of yourself in a photo looking about 10 lbs less than you are now, wearing your favorite dress that no longer fits you.

13. Get your ass out the door.

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