Important News & Splash is Outrageous as Predicted

First things first, Mario Dimples Lopez announced that he will be hosting Season 3 of The X-Factor! Khloe Kardashian has not been invited back for obvious reasons, including, but not limited to, her lack of literacy skills.

I’m still mad at Simon Cowell for allowing her to finish out Season 2, let alone actually hiring her to begin with, but what’s done is done. I guess. Demi Lovato is back and Britney is not which just really confuses me.

Luckily, LA Reid won’t be there either, but now they have two more spots to fill. I have no idea who would be good in this position. Maybe Beyonce and myself? We’re both similarly qualified, so if you’re out there, Simon, gimme a buzz. I’m free weeknights, except for Thursdays when I have kickball, but we can try and work something out.

Someone actually got it right and asked Seth MacFarlane to host the Oscars again next year and I started searching for ball gowns since I’ll be his date. Then, I remembered that there is no way he will put himself in that position again with all the negativity everyone hurled at his sweet good looks and God-given talents. Ugh. He still hasn’t said yes or no, so I’m hanging onto a glimmer of hope, but quite frankly, all those who are below his humor don’t deserve to be in his presence anyway.

At the request of an anonymous person (just kidding- hi Kaela!), I watched ABC’s Splash last night. UMMMM. When I turned it on, Kareem Abdul Jabbar (WTF?) was talking about how he landed on his back in the water last week and basically almost died. Sounds safe. Then they showed his practice with some 12 year-old prodigy who was coaching him. Sure, she’s talented, but is she qualified? What if he did hurt himself? How is this child going to help someone literally six times her size? The entire show is essentially “celebrities” plummeting to possible death by diving from outrageous heights. Is this legal? There’s no way this should be done without professional training. Maybe Sean would have had more success with this than with Dancing with the Stars. Probably not, though.

Stick to what you know: Hair gel and fitted women’s tanks.

Anyway, I watched until I saw that huge tool from Drake & Josh, aptly named Drake. 
Apparently I missed his first dive which gave him a black eye!? After his second dive he was way too pissed off about his poor performance to be taken seriously as a human being. Does he know this is a television show about faux celebrities diving? Someone let him know before he gets another black eye. I refused to watch anymore after that blasphemy.

Before I sign off, I want to wish a Happy Birthday to my friend, Kate!

I hope you have a fantastic day! Love you!


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