The Bachelor, Week 6: The Next Ben

Oh, Drew and your perfectly coiffed hair. As Des redundantly described, “He’s so romantic and passionate about romance.” The show began with these two exploring the city of Barcelona. Luckily, when it started to rain, Drew whipped out an umbrella. Of course he did, because HAIR. I was surprised to see that he even shared it with Des.

They had a good time and Des looooved that he opened up about his father’s struggles with alcoholism. So when Drew whisked her away from dinner to ravage her in the alley way, Des was obviously game. Drew’s “passionate about romance”
make out landed him a rose.

Drew is smarter than he seems because he waited until he was pinned to tell Des about the horror of James’ quest to use this opportunity to become the next Bachelor. She flipped out and called James an asshole. There was no doubt in my mind that he would be going home after this based on her reaction. That is until they all went on a group date and Des said that she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Way to be all talk, girl.

While Des read Chris a poem she wrote when she was 12, the girls – I mean Kasey and Michael – confronted James about how much he sucks. Michael did not need to be present since he heard none of James’ comments, but he has serious FOMO so he invited himself. After this argument., Kasey marched right to Des to repeat the conversation that Drew already told her because apparently he wanted to give her a swift kick while she was down.

Des and James talked about the situation and everything was so boring and repetitive so I think I dozed off. From what I gather, they cried together. Then Des left the room and they cried separately. Then she came back in and they cried together. Then they went their respective ways and cried separately. Back at the hotel, the drama queens exaggerated the story to Drew and Zak, telling them that they were scared of James getting violent. Just then, the monster walked in and OhMiGodTENSION. James simply commented “Gentleman, goodnight. Ladies, good morning.” BURN.

Zak and Des had a date at an art studio because she’s a designer, duh. At one point a nude male model came in and Zak immediately got super turned on awkward.

Jokester that he is, Zak made light of the situation and came out in a robe to reveal himself wearing some tighty whiteys. Apparently Des was excited about that so she lead him into some dungeon to eat and make out.

Meanwhile, James and Drew continued to beat a dead horse and talked about “the James situation.” Surpisingly, Drew showed us all that he’s more than just a bunch of LA Looks and a crisp sweater vest.

Since this entire season is a snooze-fest, they dragged out the whole James debacle even longer and Des asked to talk to James yet again. He obliged, tucked his shirt in 50 times, and then she made him walk an awkwardly silent mile before they were able to actually discuss anything. Nothing more was accomplished, except Des continued to be manipulated and allowed James to stay at least until the rose ceremony. Then she’d decide if she was still a naive fool.

Thankfully, she ended up sending James home, along with Juan Pablo and Kasey. In the limo, James cried about the fact that he had become the “next Ben” and zero people felt sorry for him. Michael better go home next week because I can no longer deal with his facial expression and/or voice.


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