On the VMAs, aka The Justin Timberlake Show

Justin Timberlake’s concert last night was fantastic. *N Sync performing was sweet buttercream icing on a red velvet cake. No one knows why he let people like Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus open for him, though.

Gaga was weird but nothing compared to what we usually get from her.

If anyone is surprised that Miley ripped off her bear onesie to reveal a plastic nude suit so she could look naked while grinding on a man 20 years her senior, then you’ve been living under a rock. She loves to get everyone all riled up. I think what was more embarrassing for her was the fact that she sounded like absolute garbage, can’t dance, and looks like a prepubescent boy. I felt bad that she was trying to be sexual because she had the exact opposite effect.

But enough about that. Everyone knows that the main event revolved around Justin Randall Timberlake and his friends. What a gift it was to see him own the stage with his solo hits, only to reveal JC, Lance, Joey, and Chris from below the stage a la Super Bowl. It was awful and wonderful at the same time. Lance was off-beat, Joey was struggling due to his size, people still wondered who Chris was, and JC embarrassed himself by singing a little run into the mic after the song for a few more seconds of attention.

It was so amazing for Justin to invite them on stage with him. Let’s face it, with no *NSync there would be no “Suit & Tie.” It’s all a chain of events, my friends. But the most wonderful part was when Justin shouted “Let’s show these young boys how to do it!” And show them they did. I have a HUGE beef though. Whatever two asinine members of One Direction were TALKING during “Bye Bye Bye,” you ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Show respect for those who’ve paved the way for you. Either that, or go home. Watching a clip of the “dancing” in your video after that was laughable. Pay attention and take note.

I don’t really remember much that happened after that performance as I spent the rest of the evening waiting for 5 grown men to pop out of the stage again. Although, I have to note that Taylor Swift continued to irritate the masses with her ridiculous dancing.

TLC showed up (commercial for their new movie anyone?! YES), I think Drake performed, and maybe Katy Perry. No one knows or cares.

Excuse me while I go dig out my old CDs to relive the glory days.


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