For the occasion, here’s a picture of my sister choking me at 14 months. My mom thought it was cute since we were in adorable pumpkin shirts so she took a picture, I guess.
Let’s all try to ignore the fact that we were the same size and she is 3 years older. I liked my milk, alright?
In lieu of my “don’t eat pizza and ice cream every night” diet, I haven’t really eaten Halloween candy which gives me the sads. I came across my Top 10 Halloween Candy post and started drooling. (Can I switch out Skittles for Sour Patch Kids, btw? I don’t know what I was thinking).
I will not be trick-or-treating this year (much to my dismay) but should you be lucky enough to have that privilege, I urge you to demand the best. Should you come across one apple posing as a treat or a measly five bat-shaped pretzels, may you fling that garbage at the kind person giving them away and demand real candy.
There is one (acceptable) day a year that you get to run through your neighbors’ yards as though it’s your own personal playground, and the outcome better be worth it. And remember, as delicious as those caramel coated popcorn balls of sugar look, refrain from shoving them down your pie hole, since we all know everything homemade contains only poison and razor blades.
Oh, Happy Halloween!