The Internet is a scary and wonderful thing. It can inform you of the minuscule chance that your runny nose is, as suspected, Tuberculosis. It can show you that there are many workouts available for you to do in the comfort of your own home. You can even “pin” them to make people confused as to how you haven’t lost weight yet when they see you. It can make you drool over a photo of cake batter cascading into a pan.
It can make you hate people.
I came across a few (okay, just two) ridiculous things over the past few weeks and it’s not fair that I have to suffer seeing them in solitude.
First, for those of you struggling to figure out how on earth the whole soap and water thing works, this idiot finally figured it out.
AXCUSE ME?! You guys. I clicked this link via Pinterest. I’m so pissed at myself but I thought, this has to be some sort of joke, or someone trying to market to infants, but I Kid. You. Not. It was a step-by-step tutorial on how to shower. I can’t believe I gave that stupid person clicks and they probably made money from me by telling me that I should, as presumed, wet my hair before shampooing. GET. OUT.
The next stupid comment just shows that money, fame, and giant curly hair, won’t cure you of ignorance and entitled ways.
First of all, there’s nothing I loathe more than random people telling me to vote. Of course, everyone should. It’s one thing to say “get out there and vote,” and end it there, but of course Big O took it to another level.
For someone who claims to be so in-tune with us peasants and understands that not everyone can afford cars so you give them away like candy, where on earth did you find the audacity to tell people to leave their JOBS to vote? Huh!? I’m lucky enough to have a job where that could have been an option for me if necessary, but my peasant brain is somehow able to understand that it’s not an option for everyone. Luckily, the majority of the comments were along the lines of “LOL will you pay my bills when I get fired?” and “ummmm not everyone can do that” or “I wish I could.”
Open your eyes Move your giant hair away from your eyes so you can see, Oprah. Not everyone’s job is to sit on a couch and try and figure out where Lindsey Lohan went wrong.
This turned into another huge Oprah rant and I’m not even sorry. People refuse to call her out because they think shit, what if there’s that tiny chance that she’s gonna hand me a key to a new car one day? I can’t burn any bridges. To them I say, burn, baby, burn.