If you’ve watched any form of news at all this week, you’ve probably heard about the crazy Blizzard that hit the Northeast. I’ve never been happier that I don’t live in Boston, but we did still get some snow. In the span of 24 hours, we were told we were getting over a foot of snow, 5-8 inches, 1 inch, and then 3-5 inches. Meteorologists are actually the worst. “Now, we’re not going to be hit. *listens to earpiece* What’s that? Oh, I’m being told that there is currently a white out, so it turns out we ARE getting snow.”
Anyway, we probably ended up with around 5 inches? I don’t know. I’m not a mathematician which is why I don’t get paid to be one. Take a hint, weathermen. I always scoff that I hate driving in the snow and I realized that it’s not so much the actual driving, but maneuvering among the other asshats on the road. I obviously love lists, so I’ve created one that I think we can all relate to.
The 20 Thoughts You Have While Driving in Snow
1. Ugh, I have to clean my car off.
2. I’m wearing gloves yet somehow I’m still getting frostbite doing this.
3. I hope I make it up this hill.
4. I hope I stop at the bottom of this hill.
5. Love a good fishtail, as long as no one’s riding my ass. I’m looking at YOU, Civic.
6. Oh thank God, you turned, stupid Civic.
7. I understand it’s snowing but you can probably go over 10 mph, sir. I still won’t tailgate you because I’m a nice person.
8. I should have been a teacher.
9. Wonderful. I was hoping a giant tow truck would get close enough to see the backseat of my car. I
10. I’m hungry.
11. Hey TRUCK, didn’t your mom tell you it’s not nice to tailgate on a dry, sunny, day, let alone when it’s snowing and the roads haven’t been plowed?
12. I should have been a teacher.
13. I can’t go any faster, buddy, lest I ram the car in front of me. Jackass.
14. *Intermission for sing along to Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off”*
15. Finally, my exit and the truck whizzes by at 15 mph.
16. Look down at me so you can see the finger I’m giving you, bro.
17. I’m almost home!
19. Time to eat.
20. Write blog post so you can add another number because ain’t nobody got time to end on number 19.
Happy January, friends! Stay Safe!