1. Go for a walk and think about how much you want pizza rather than brainstorm actual things to write about.
2. Watch the Justin Bieber Roast to try and make yourself feel better about the fact that a douchey kid is more successful than you are. At least you’re not douchey, right?
3. Read other blogs and hope that one day you might be just as funny as The Honest Toddler.
4. Eat a banana.
5. Wonder if anyone actually ever eats the ends of bananas.
6. Become concerned about what would happen if you accidentally ingested the end of a banana. They’re poison, yes?
7. Check Instagram.
8. Once again, wonder why Hilary Duff dyed her hair green.
9. Think about cleaning your room.
10. Decide that laying in bed while typing this post would be much better.
11. Remember that you forgot to buy deodorant for the 3rd day in a row.
12. Continue laying in bed thinking you can get away with one more day.
13. Re-read the crap you just wrote and stupidly hit publish instead of delete.