*This post is all over the place because I wrote it on the plane while nursing a massive beach hangover. Kudos to you if you actually read it. I also didn’t proof read it. Deal with it.*
Writing on the plane on your way home from the beach is all sorts of depressing. It’s Sunday, so I have to go to work tomorrow when all I want to do is lay on the beach from 9-5 like I did the last 3 days. WAH.
Lucky for you, a 3 hour plane ride makes for a bored Erica since I finished my book ON THE BEACH, so now you get to read about my trip (once I land and publish this because LOLZ if I’m about to pay for wifi).
Clearwater Beach, FL is a glorious place. Florida is so weird but so great. There was a mix of old people, young people, families, and locals. We only saw one homeless person the entire trip and both agreed that he’s doing it right. If I were homeless, I’d 100% stay on a beach. Why the hell would I freeze in dirty, smelly NYC or something? Anyway, we stayed at the Palm Pavilion which was right one the beach (although we didn’t have a beach front room so we had to go to the rooftop deck to get a good view of the sunset like ANIMALS.)
Or just walk 20 steps and be on the beach.
I learned how to use the panoramic feature on my phone (not well). The building you see behind the beautiful palm trees is our hotel bar/restaurant that had live music all day and night. I can’t.
The only complaints I had were about the heat because I have a sweating problem and don’t do well in sticky uncomfortable situations. For some reason, Tim still said we could go back, so I guess he’s going to still put up with me. He did suggest February so we’d have some relief from the heat in the evenings, since that’s when we did most of our physical activity. By physical activity, I mean walking 3 minutes to the nearest bar.
If you make it to Clearwater, make sure to get the cheesy bread at Clear Sky Cafe. Dominos ain’t got nothin’ on this delicious creation. Comes with both pesto and marinara sauce because they support fat added making their own decisions, which I appreciate.
I’d also definitely stay at our hotel again. It was nothing fancy but we ain’t the hoity toity type anyway. The bathroom was kind of small but everything was very clean. Tim did say he had to do a lot of squatting while in the shower to wash his hair (I’m nothing without imagery) but he’s also massively tall so take that into consideration.
The hotel offers daily rentals of cabanas where you get 2 chairs and an umbrella for $18 from 9-5 which we definitely used and it was great. Tim got a sun burn once like 5 years ago and is perpetually afraid, so he got to sit under the umbrella and monitor my sunbathing. He advised if I was looking red so I could reapply suncreen or relocate to the shade. I swear, I do nice things for him, too. Tim, feel free to list them in the comments.
I don’t want to sound dramatic but there was a baby shark in the water when we were there. I was floating peacefully on my back in the wave-less, bath water temperature ocean when Tim nudged me and said “Er, don’t freak out” and I immediately started freaking out while he continued “but that girl just saw a baby shark.”
If I ever thought I could qualify for the Olympics, it would be right at that moment. Bless his soul, Tim only laughed at me for 5 seconds. Once we were out of the water, he told me he saw it too and it was “tiny.” I have to clarify that I wasn’t afraid of the baby shark. My concern was that the tinier the baby shark, the bigger and angrier the mama shark is who is searching for her baby and that is not something I’m about to fuck with.
Aside from Jaws 5, it was a truly wonderful trip. For one dollar, you can walk out to the end of the pier to watch the sunset. What can I say? I’m a cheap date. It was worth it but I could have done without these guys.
We only got ice cream once and we were there for 3 nights so we really screwed up. Luckily I’m home now and have a multitude of soft serve locales to choose from. Now someone just bring me a beach and I’ll be all set.