I Went to Advanced Auto Parts and All I got was a Bruised Ego

I know very little about cars – like the bare minimum so I can operate a motor vehicle. One of my headlights went out last week and I was so annoyed because it meant another stupid car thing to deal with. (File under: Things that are not a big deal but I turn into a massive deal.)

Tim was kind enough to search for and send me a video detailing every single step (Literally, every step. I do know how to pop my hood but I appreciated the instruction, kind YouTube stranger.)

I watched the video and was like oh hell yes, I can absolutely do this. Get outta my way, everyone. I gotta get to Advanced Auto Parts and get my new bulb and replace it myself like a grown ass adult.

I found the correct bulb that I needed, number 9006 (IMPORTANT INFO). Still, I was second guessing myself because I’m car stupid, remember? So, I decided to confirm with the nice 17-year-old boy at the counter.

Stereotypical Dumb Girl in Dress, Coming from Work: Can you just check that this is the right one?
Teenage Boy with Glasses and Acne who Dumb Girl Apparently Trusts More Than Herself: Sure. *type type type type type*
Smart Boy: No, you need the 9005, not the 9006.
Dumb Girl: Are you sure? Because the one you’re pointing to says it’s for high beam. I don’t need that.
Smart Boy: Yeah, the 9005 will work for both.
Dumb Girl Who Was Even More Dumb Because She Knew That Made Absolutely Zero Sense But She Decided to Listen to Him Anyway: Alright…

I had planned to do this right in the parking lot before heading back to work, so I made sure to park in the most secluded area so no one could watch me do this and make a fool of myself. I walked back to my car and nearly cried when I saw a nice middle-aged man covered in tattoos working on his car. I barely got my hood popped before he immediately asked if I needed help. PREJUDICE.

I declined his help because I was being super cocky and in an “I don’t need no man” mood.

Independent1 Independent2 Independent3 Independent4

Anyway, I swiftly removed the dead bulb and inserted the new one. Almost there! (During this time, tattooed man asked if I needed help 3 times. SO RUDE.) When I tried to snap the bulb back into place, it would not budge. It wasn’t just my lack of knowledge or strength – it just didn’t fit.

Bruised Ego, Needs Help Girl: Ugh, I might need to take you up on that help.
Proud Tatted Up Car Guy: Hahaha, okay. *Fiddles for 3 seconds and gives up* They gave you the wrong bulb.


I went back in and the cashier formerly known as “Smart Boy” said, “oh, I’m sorry, you were right!”

No shit.

I went back and put in the correct bulb in 20 seconds, sans help from tattooed gentleman.

I thanked him for his help and as I was getting in my car he said “No problem. If you’re not changing both now, just make sure you keep the second bulb in your glove compartment.”

I mean….

I’m dumb when it comes to cars. But I’m not THAT dumb.


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