A Bug’s Life

I recently moved from my two bedroom apartment with Al to a one bedroom apartment (in the same complex – originality is the name of the game people). I remember finding maybe 2 bugs in the entire time we lived there. Since moving, I have killed what seems like 50 insects. What the hell?

A few weeks ago, I was about to go to bed and heard a fly buzzing around. Who knew flies were such a pain in the ass? This guy would NOT let my flip flop kill him. I don’t have very good hand-eye coordination so that probably didn’t help. Instead, I had to set up a trap. I closed my bedroom door, so he only had the rest of the apartment to roam. Finally, he made it to the bathroom. SUCKER.


I followed him in and closed the bathroom door so he couldn’t escape. From here, it took a solid 8 minutes to catch him. I’m not even exaggerating. The little guy was fast. I felt a little bit bad that I was trying to kill him but by this point he was just starting to piss me off.

Finally, I side swiped him with my flip flop. He was still going, but he was weak. Another 3 minutes later, I got in another hit and he finally fell to the floor. This guy was putting up a fight. He was still twitching so I decided to put him out of his misery and carefully squished him up in a tissue.

Since then, I’ve captured a stink bug, another fly, and just yesterday, a massive spider. What’s next, a tarantula? I can’t handle this shit.

The stink bug I had to coerce out of my room and not kill. How bad do they actually smell? It would have been easier to just squish him.

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