Bachelor in Paradise, Week 3 Part 2: Let’s Beat the Joe Situation to Death, Shall We?

We began the shit show last night with Juelia talking to Sam about what happened with Joe. Jade was there for some reason. Can this girl not have adult conversations without back up? I guess Sam can’t either since she said she wasn’t going to listen until Joe was present as well. MMMMMK.  Juelia was annoyed because she would totes listen to her friend’s advice over a guy. Interesting, Juels, because I’m pretty sure everyone tried to warn you about Joe but you didn’t listen.

Sam talked to Joe because I guess he deserves a conversation in private. He confirmed he was there to meet her and only her but he was wearing an American flag bathing suit un-ironically so I don’t trust him for a second.

Amber was next to show up and I had no idea who she was. Apparently she was on Chris’ season and her and Onion Ashley are friends. Conveniently, she had her eye on Dan. These producers love ruining friendships. Onion Ashley described her break up with Dan as someone dying so I don’t think she’s ever lost anyone close to her. Ending a 1 week “relationship” does not a death make. I wanted to feel bad for her but I can’t take a grown woman who wears a sparkly headband as a crown seriously.

Onion Ashley S Headband Bachelor in Paradise

Megan and JJ went jet skiing and Megan described him as “cool, nice, and funny” while he said they were “intellectually different.” I assumed that was just a way to say he thinks he’s smarter than her but she probably is too dumb to figure out the insult.

On Amber and Dan’s date, they climbed a ladder to get a good view of the ocean and also Amber’s crotch. Some on lookers were chanting for them to kiss so they did – what a romantic first kiss.

The Joe Situation hadn’t been beaten to death enough, so JJ joined in on the stoning. He said he took personal offense to how Joe treated Juelia. Hey, JJ, guess who had nothing to do with that? You. He decides to have the same conversation with Joe that everyone had earlier. It ended with JJ saying he’s going to “make him look like the hillbilly that he is because he’s going to send him home with 4 missing teeth.”

Let’s all hope the Chris Harrison gods come through on this preview. Please let there really be a fight. PLEASE let there really be a fight.

Joe and JJ Fight Bachelor in Paradise

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