Surviving Football Season When You Hate Football

Ah, Fall. The crunchy leaves, the pumpkin overload, the basic bitches with their apple picking on Instagram, and – oh yes- football. The average length of one game is 3 hour and 12 minutes. However, without all the irritating stop-and-go, the actual length of a game (when the ball is in play) is 11 minutes. THERE IS A TOTAL OF 11 MINUTES OF PLAYTIME DURING A FOOTBALL GAME. I don’t think I need to say much more about why I never liked football and likely never will (sorry, Tim). Do you know how many episodes of The Bachelor we could be watching in that time?
Gone With the Wind Bored

Ugh. Anyway, I’m often surrounded by people who actually enjoy football and over the years I’ve figured out how to get through an excruciatingly long 17 weeks.

  • Keep Your Eye on the Prize – I participate in Pick’Em. Do I know what I’m doing? Absolutely not. Have I ever won? Absolutely not. But, football is going to be there whether I like it or not, so I might as well at least try to win some money out of it.
  • Eat – I think this is obvious. If you find yourself at a some sort of football party/gathering, at least know that you have delicious food to look forward to. And has food ever let you down?
    I Love Lucy Eating
  • Drink – Not to sound like a lush, but it really just makes things more enjoyable for everyone.
  • Surround Yourself with Like Folk – When munching on your pizza and football shaped brownies, find a group of people you can talk to who have the same feelings toward the sport. You can talk about more important things like The Bachelor and blogging. Or, you can play with your adorable niece like I did at my sister’s house yesterday.
  • Catch up on Reading – A few weeks ago, I was at Tim’s and I got to be a supportive girlfriend while half watching The Eagles game but mostly reading. I would pay more attention when they were doing well and would cheer and give high fives. AKA, Tim would scream “Er! We got a touchdown!” and I would act excited. (Aren’t I a catch?) Anyway, it worked out pretty nicely for me. I think they lost that week so I got to read even more while I let Tim grieve properly for a while.

Whatever you choose to do, just know you’re not alone. We’re about 1/3 of the way there. We can make it, fellow football haters.

Mean Girls Football

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4 thoughts on “Surviving Football Season When You Hate Football

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