I don’t think the title needs further explanation but I’ll go on.
I used to vacation with my BFF Jackie and our families in Wildwood, NJ. This particular year was 2004, maybe. We were 17 and we thought we were the shit. After all, we DID go get ice cream on the boardwalk by ourselves after 8PM.
One day, we were lying next to each other on the beach with our discmans (discmen?) by our sides, listening to one of our 3 CDs we were able to fit in our travel bags. (You damn later-born Millennials will never know the struggle).
All of a sudden, I felt something hit me (lightly) on my stomach. I immediately assumed Jackie threw something at me. I looked over but she hadn’t moved. This was 10-12 years ago but I’m pretty sure the following is our exact conversation because I will never be able to get rid of the memory.
Me: What did you just throw at me?
Jackie: What are you talking about?
Me: You didn’t just throw something at me?
Jackie: Uh, no.
Me: What? I could have sworn I felt something hit my stomaaaOOOOH MY GODDDD IT’S BIRD POOP. IT’S BIRD POOP. EW EW EW EW.
*Jackie is hysterically laughing while I’m screaming looking around for something to get rid of it*
Jackie: Go in the water, you idiot *she’s still laughing. the worst*
I ran in the water and washed it away but I am always aware of birds flying over me at the beach. Forgive, but don’t forget. Isn’t that the saying?