I am officially a funemployed resident of Virginia. This was my fourth time moving in the past 7 years so I think that makes me an expert. I’ve compiled some tips for those of you looking for an easier move.
1. Decide you need to start packing about 2 weeks before your moving date.
2. Instead, watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
3. One week before moving, decide you really need to start packing.
4. Go through one shelf in one closet. Throw out items you don’t want. Put everything else into a pile.
5. After stepping over pile for 3 days, place everything in a box.
6. Reward yourself with ice cream and/or wine for being so productive.
7. You are now moving in 4 days and have one box packed. Start cleaning your bedroom closet and make a clothes donation pile.
8. Curse yourself for all of the money you waste on clothes you’ve worn once (or not at all).
9. You’re exhausted. Watch some more Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
10. Two days until moving day.
11. Haphazardly start throwing things in boxes for 2 days straight.
12. Wonder if this is what hell is like.
13. Try to drink wine but can’t find the wine opener.
14. Go through three boxes and finally find it.
15. Drink wine.
16. Pack some more.
17. Finish wine.
18. Celebrate! You’re done.
19. Except for the whole loading it on the truck and unloading everything in the next 12 hours.